Tuesday, April 26, 2011

When You're Through Thinking, Say Yes

The truth is I will always love you. Even if I marry someone else, I will wake every morning with your name on my lips. When I draw my last breath, I will see your face in my mind's eye: smiling and innocent in youth, kissing in a dark courtyard, holding hands while walking up your street; every beautiful memory of our past will flash before my eyes. If I meet a man I love and he holds my hand and tells me how much he loves me, he kisses me gently and brushes my hair back, if he gets down on one knee, there will always be a part of me that wishes he were you. Even if I love another, you will still be my first and ultimately my last. I am so afraid of the day I know will be the last time I see you. Your face lingers in my dreams and I constantly crave your touch. I have heard that smell is the sense most associated to memories, and whenever I smell your familiar cologne, my stomach clenches in knots. My heart momentarily stops and I clutch my abdomen to keep myself from falling apart. You are the only true love I have ever known. Just know, even though we will both move on, I will always love you with all my heart and I will always be here for you. All you have to do is call my name.

"Gentle reader, may you never feel what I then felt! May your eyes never shed such stormy, scalding, heart-wrung tears as poured from mine. May you never appeal to Heaven in prayers so hopeless and so agonized as in that hour left my lips; for never may you, like me, dread to be the instrument of evil to what you wholly love." 
-Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre

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