That's What Crazy Is

Circles, we're going in circles. Dizzy's all it makes us, we know where it takes us. We've been before. Maybe looking closer, there's more to discover. Find out what went wrong without blaming each other. Think that we got more time when we're falling behind, we've got to make up our minds. When it's broken, you say there's nothing to fix. And you pray that everything will be okay, while we're making all the same mistakes. And we wait for the end to change. And we take it for granted that we'll be the same, but I don't want to make the same mistakes.

Never Trust A Happy Ending

Time moves slow, but it's you who brought me here. You were always here. It's you and not your cheers. It's you who brings up fear. It's you who always yields. Time moves slow.

Right By My Side

You hold a man under the sea as he thrashes against your overpowering strength until he thrashes no more.

You gently drag him back to the surface with your polished fingers. Tears stream down your face and onto his smooth cheeks, perfect lips.

"Why did you have to let me do this?" You sob. "Why must you hurt me?"

You press one last shaky kiss upon his lips and release him.

The current takes him away. His lifeless body is gracefully thrown around the clear blue waves.

You gather your skirts and slosh your way back to the shore. "Why?" You whisper again.

You turn back one last time before reaching the shore and let a crinkled piece of paper drift through the water. It's shaped like a flower and the ink runs as the water rushes over the never-to-be-forgotten words.

The paper seems to be chasing after the boy. The boy. The sea is being so rough on him. He doesn't deserve anything less than a cool kiss from the water, a constant caress around the heart that no longer beats.

Suddenly you race back into the water. "Wait!" You croak. "WAIT! I need you!"

It's too late. The sea has dragged him out of your reach.

You collapse amongst the unforgiving water yourself.

The tears mix with the salt water and are indistinguishable on your face.

Someone taps on your shoulder. The boy. He's wearing a priceless smile and the fire you love blazes in those brown eyes. "You're back?" You whisper.

"Of course." He replies, confused. "When did I ever leave?"

You, Through All These Years

I saw you today. What are you doing here? Are you back in my life? I don't even care about the reasons, I just know that I haven't been able to let you go. Despite all of my denials. God damnit, I miss you. You are everything. I love you. Always have. Always will.

"Eenie Meenie Minie Mo Usually Works For Me"

Now and then I think of when we were together, like when you said you felt so happy you could die. Told myself that you were right for me, but felt so lonely in your company. But that was love and it's an ache I still remember. You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness, like resignation to the end, always the end. So when we found that we could not make sense, well you said that we could still be friends. But I'll admit that I was glad that it was over.

Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over, but had me believing it was always something that I'd done. And I don't wanna live that way, reading into every word you say. You said that you could let it go and I wouldn't catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know.

But you didn't have to cut me off, make out like it never happened and that we were nothing. And I don't even need your love, but you treat me like a stranger and it feels so rough. No, you didn't have to stoop so low, have your friends collect your records and then change your number. I guess that I don't need that though. Now you're just somebody that I used to know.

And Still They Echo Me

I'm going away for a while but I'll be back, don't try and follow me. I'll return as soon as possible. You see, I'm trying to find my place, but it might not be here where I feel safe. We all learn to make mistakes and run from then with no direction. We'll run from them with no conviction. I'm just one of those ghosts, traveling endlessly. I don't need a road, in fact they follow me. And we just go in circles. And now I'm told that this is life, and pain is just a simple compromise so we can get what we want out of it. Would someone care to classify our broken hearts and twisted minds so I can find someone to rely on? So I can run to them, full speed ahead. Oh, you are not useless. The ones we trusted the most pushed us far away.

You've Been Praying For A Remedy

You never miss a good thing until it's gone, now I want it all back.

What have I done, my sweetest friend? 

Everyone I know goes away in the end.

Now everything isn't everything, if everything isn't with you.

If there is a green light and it's about to turn yellow, pedal to the floor because I know your heart is turning red.

How do I forget you if the memories resurface?

How do I make your name a poison when it tastes so sweet on my tongue?

How do I let you go if every time I try, I grab hold tighter?

How do I tell myself you don't care if you act like you do?

How do I act like you're not important when the mention of you flips me inside out?

How do I deal with the fact that it's been a full week?

How do I possibly fall out of love with you when I couldn't even control myself falling in love with you?

Why doesn't anyone have any words of wisdom?

I believe I've waited long enough.

Oh dear, where have you gone?

Constant Concerns

How do you trust your feelings if they can just disappear like that?

I can feel you all around me, thickening the air I'm breathing.

The fire rising through my being, burning. I'm not used to seeing you.

You Can Have It All, My Empire Of Dirt

You always hurt the one you love, the one you shouldn't hurt at all. You always take the sweetest rose and crush it until the petals fall. You always break the kindest heart with a hasty word you can't recall. And if I broke your heart last night, it's because I love you the most of all.

Wait, They Don't Love You Like I Love You

There are many things that I would like to say to you, but I don't have the words in my head. Days are passing by and all the leaves are changing too, but time won't change the things unsaid. Because everything is different now. I'd really like to tell you how I wanted you here by my side. I know what I said, but I lied. I wanted to laugh, but I cried. Now I wish I could just push rewind. Stupid pride, it just can't hide the holes inside my heart. Because I need you here with me. I wish that I could take it back. I'd go back to the start and tell you all the things I feel.

I saw you on the corner, holding hands with someone new. Happy as a boy could be, love was in your eyes. And she looked the same way too; it's funny that was almost me. Now I wanna be by your side. I know what I said, but I lied. I wanted to laugh, but I cried. Because it's too late to push rewind. Oh, I wish I could push rewind.

Rise Above It

Do you remember when the walls fell? Do you remember the sound the door made when you closed it on me? Do you know that I went down to the ground, landed on both my broken hearted knees? I didn't even cry because pieces of me had already died. I'm a ghost, haunting these halls, climbing up walls that I never knew were there. And I'm lost, broken down the middle of my heart. I keep trying to walk but my feet don't find the solid ground. It's like living in a bad dream, I keep trying to scream but my tongue has finally lost its sound. I've got to say goodbye to the pieces of me that have already died. I don't cry anymore.

If You Ask Me If I Love Him, I'd Lie

I don't wanna be the one to say goodbye, but I will. I don't wanna sit on the pavement while you fly, but I will. Cause maybe in the future, you're gonna come back. The only way to really know is to really let it go. Maybe you're gonna come back to me. I don't wanna be the first to let it go, but I know if you have the last hands that I want to hold, then I know I've got to let them go. 

Maybe in the future you're gonna come back. You're gonna come back to me.

If There's A Reason...

Spare me what you're thinking. Tell me a lie.

Once upon a time, on the same side.

Putting Gasoline On The Fire In Your Eyes

So now it wasn't just a one time thing. You actually bothered with me again. You want to hang out. I'm not looking too far into this, because that's when things get messed up. I'm just going to enjoy it.

Hello, again. I've missed you.

Convoluted Discrepancies

Now that you can't have me, you suddenly want me. Now that I'm with somebody else, you tell me you love me.I slept on your doorstep, begging for one chance. Now that I finally moved on, you say that you missed me all along. Who do you think you are? Who do you think I am? You only loved to see me breaking. You only want me cause I'm taken. You don't really want my heart. No, you just like to know you can. You'll be the one who gets it breaking. You only want me when I'm taken.

Stuck In The Emptiness

Can we ever get rid of the what's and the if's, the doubts that exist in our minds? In the silence I am tricked into thinking you'll forget and I'll be stranded like a man in a mine. Like a city besieged, it was the loneliest thing, your silence held in cold delay. And I felt faint of heart because I was caught between the weight of everything I couldn't say. I don't know how to follow because you and I know I can't go between the gallows and the gates. The day between the soil and the sky, an emptiness, a void, a heaviness, a sigh. But I know you will make it through alive because you never said goodbye.

Less Than Nothing

I almost wished that you hadn't spoken to me. It was what I asked for, so why was I hurting? It always happens when I don't expect it. And it shocks me into silence. I was sitting on my bed and my phone dinged. And I thought absolutely nothing of it. And when it read your name, and that song was on, I fell again. You have such a strong control over me that you don't even realize. I stood before the mirror, clutching my heart. And I cried. And I wasn't even sure why. I could have texted you for hours. We did, in fact. Four. Four short hours. Not enough. Never enough. 

January 9

5:02pm

wats up

Always Bound To Fall

And you can have it all, my empire of dirt. I will let you down. I will make you hurt.

I'm not the one you want to fall for, sweetie. I'm damaged. I can't let go of the past. I'm indecisive. I think about you, yes. But I think about him so much more. So much more than I should. It's the fact that I can't have him that draws me to him. You're so attainable. You're within reach. I'm sorry if I'm hurting you. But I'm really making an effort to love you. I thought I had lost him. And you were just about to become my everything. But then he was dangled in front of my eyes again. And I failed the test. I reached out and tried to grab him, with tears in my eyes. I stretched long and far and I fell over the edge again. I'm sorry. But there's not even anything I can do to stop myself.

Feeling Like A Robot

You've been acting awful tough lately, smoking a lot of cigarettes lately. But inside you're just a little baby.

It's okay to say you've got a weak spot, you don't always have to be on top. Better to be hated, than loved for what you're not.

Which Direction?

I don't know what I'm doing. We're flirting and he has a girlfriend. But he's the one who contacted, not the one I expected. So what am I supposed to do, ignore the opportunity? I feel horrible. And there are so many people I want. But I don't know how to get them. Guide me. Help me.

Darling, Everything's On Fire

I remember tears streaming down your face when I said, "I'll never let you go." When all those shadows almost killed your light, I remember you said, "Don't leave me here alone." But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight. Don't you dare look out your window, darling, everything's on fire. The war outside our door keeps raging on. Hold onto this lullaby even when the music's gone. Just close your eyes, the sun is going down. You'll be alright, no one can hurt you now. Come morning light, you and I'll be safe and sound.