I'm always bound to fall. I could be living out the happiest moment of my life, and the smile will fade away. Because I have fallen. In that moment of recognition, of realizing that I am not enough, I have fallen. And fallen hard.
I fear monotony.
You don't know pain until you throw objects away from you because you can't even bear looking at the simplest reminders of who you are. You don't know misery until you look at yourself in the mirrior and are unsatisfied, both externally and internally. You don't know agony until you throw yourself on the floor, feel the unforgiving ground bruise your head, feel the silent tears flow coolly down your cheeks and into your hair. No. You don't know anything. You hardly even know what I feel. No. You are unaware. You are ignorant. But ignorance is strength...or so they tell me.
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