You're A Very Good Person, Who Bad Things Have Happened To

"We've all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are."

Every Time She Closed Her Eyes

When she was just a girl, she expected the world. But it flew away from her reach, so she ran away in her sleep and dreamed of paradise, every time she closed her eyes.

When she was just a girl, she expected the world. But it flew away from her reach and the bullets catch in her teeth.
Life goes on, gets so heavy. The wheel breaks the butterfly, every tear a waterfall. In the night, the stormy night, she'd close her eyes. In the night, the stormy night, away she'd fly and dreams of paradise.
So lying underneath the stormy skies, she'd say, "I know the sun will set to rise, this could be paradise."

"I Love You, Hold On To That. Never Let That Go."

A drop in the ocean, a change in the weather, I was praying that you and me might end up together. It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert, but I'm holding you closer than most 'cause you are my heaven.
I don't wanna waste the weekend. If you don't love me, pretend a few more hours, then it's time to go. And as my train rolls down the East coast, I wonder how you keep warm. It's too late to cry, too broken to move on.
Still I can't let you be, most nights I hardly sleep. Don't take what you don't need from me. Misplaced trust and old friends, never counting the regrets. By the grace of God, I do not rest at all, and New England as the leaves change. The last excuse that I'll claim, I was a girl who loved a man like a little girl.

It's just a drop in the ocean, a change in the weather. I was praying that you and me might end up together. It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert, but I'm holding you closer than most 'cause you are my heaven.
You are my heaven.

Now I Know What I'm Leaving Behind

"I told you to be patient, I told you to be fine. I told you to be balanced, I told you to be kind. Now all my love is wasted, then who the hell was I? Cause now I'm breaking at the britches and at the end of all your lines, who will love you? Who will fight? And who will fall, far behind?"

You are a waste of time. Blood is thicker than water unless you spit in it. And even then, the spitty water is far better than you. It's almost funny now how much I've given up on you! Time and time again I think that you've changed for the better: you're not a stupid bitch, you don't treat me like shit for fun, you're not worthless! But FUCK, you love to prove me wrong don't you? Ah, clever girl, you know I love to be right! You can call me out for my faults and my less than benevolent words, but shit! I would say that you deserve them. But they aren't appropriate. And yet...Try being fucking mature for once, you god damn attention-seeking, pathetic, stupid girl. You're weak, selfish, uncaring, and the worst example of a role model I have yet to see. You see! Your bring out the worst in me! And you know that you do! Oh, what to do. I'll tell you what I've decided and then you can show what little you think of it: nothing. Did you hear that? Absolutely nothing. I don't need to do anything. You aren't important enough. If you were that little girl and you started to become what you are now, I would do everything to stop it. I would scream at the top of my lungs until you got the point. I would be there for you, guide you, hold your hand, and protect you. Protect you from the horrors in this fucking world. Protect you from people, drugs, being a whore, alcohol, driving like you weren't issued a brain, all of it! But no, you aren't her. You aren't even close to her. I did try to protect you, but honey, that isn't my job. You're supposed to protect me. I tried to save you. God damnit, I can't say I didn't try. I cried so fucking hard when I thought I would lose you. That night, when no one was near, I screamed my fucking 12-year-old heart out into my pillow. 12 years old! Talk about damaging. I screamed until my throat hurt and I couldn't scream anymore. I cried until I couldn't see and I was convulsing alone in my bed. And you never came. I curled up in a ball and sobbed. Why? Out of fear, desperation, lack of faith, but most of all, love. A love that you have now lost entirely. You had someone on your side until the very end, and you fucking blew it! Fuck, I was there for you! I would've always been there for you! I used to consider you my best friend! But you left me when I needed you most. Oh God, I hated my life freshman year. I really did. I wasn't pathetic enough to be suicidal, but it's hard to tell if I wouldn't have considered that a decent option. The only thing that kept me going? Ready? You. I knew you would be there and I needed you. But you left me. For him. It's something, try as I might, that I will unfortunately never be able to forgive you for. And it's not like you haven't done something since to fuck me over. You know, this was just going to be a quick, five lines of ranting, but I can't stop. Better out that in, I suppose. Anyways, I side-tracked there, but point is, I did try to save you. I told you how important you were to me, you saw the tears in my eyes when he ridiculed me and you laughed (which was like you had punched me in the stomach, by the way), I talked to you every day. Now there will be days when I don't say a single world to you, like, um, today for instance. I tried! But now you're too far gone. You have been for a while. And I can't protect you from who you really are. And I'm sorry for that.

They Say You'll Know When You Know, I Don't Know

I could cry.

And Holds His Hand Too Tight

Maybe I'm wrong, you decide. Should've been strong, yet I lied. Nobody gets me like you. Couldn't keep hold of you then. How could I know what you meant? There was nothing to compare to. There's a mountain between us, but there's one thing I'm sure of: that I know how I feel about you.
Can we bring yesterday back around? Cause I know how I feel about you now. I was dumb, I was wrong, I've let you down. But I know how I feel about you now.
I'll bet it takes one more chance, don't let our last kiss be our last. I'm outta my mind just to show you. I know everything changes, I don't care where it takes us cause I know how I feel about you.
Not a day pass me by when I don't think about you. And there's no moving on cause I know you're the one, and I can't be without you.
And I know how I feel about you now.

I Don't Think I Can Take That Anymore

I've been wondering just how many more days until I see your face. I don't quite know just how to fill this space where you used to lie. And I'm aching and I'm breaking inside.

And it's all because of you. I fall because of you. And I'm all because of you.

I don't quite know just how long I can wait to see you smile again. I've been wondering just how long I can stay away.

And it's all because of you. I fall because of you. And I'm all because of you.

Ignorance Is Bliss. So I Wish I Never Knew

I wish you never looked at me that way.

"Dear friend, far off, my lost desire, so far, so near in woe and weal, o loved the most, when most I feel there is a lower and a higher; known and unknown, human, divine; sweet human hand and lips and eye; dear heavenly friend that canst not die, mine, mine, forever, ever mine; strange friend, past, present, and to be; loved deeplier, darklier understood; behold, I dream a dream of good, and mingle all the world with thee."

-Lord Tennyson Alfred 

Your Kingdom is Crumbling

The stars lean down to kiss you as I lie awake and miss you.

"The sparrow's chirrup on the roof, the slow clock ticking, and the sound which to the wooing wind aloof the poplar made, did all confound her sense; but most she loathed the hour when the thick-moted sunbeam lay athwart the chambers, and the day was sloping toward his western bower. Then, said she, 'I am very dreary, he will not come,' she said; she wept, 'I am aweary, aweary, oh God, that I were dead!'"

-Lord Tennyson Alfred

Fuck You.

I'd Be Lying If I Told You Losing You Was Something I Could Handle

I heard that your dreams came true. Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you. Old friend, why are you so shy? Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light. I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited, but I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it. I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded that for me it isn't over.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you. I wish nothing but the best for you, too. Don't forget me, I begged. I remember, you said "Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead."

You know how the time flies. Only yesterday it was the time of our lives. We were born and raised in a summer haze. Bound by the surprise of our glory days.