Solace

I'm very unusual. When I see my sister or other people get a text message from someone they like, or of something that they know will be particularly interesting, they open and read it right away, thinking of their reply as they do so. With fingers as rapid as lightning, the reply is written and sent without hesitation. I, on the other hand, do not open it for nearly ten minutes later. Is that cowardly? I throw my phone away from me and let it sit there. It draws my eyes like a car accident. As I browse through different things on my phone, I am so completely aware of the little red "1" that sits next to the message icon. Like it makes any difference at all. Eventually I'll have to read it, and when I do I'll have to face what it says. But those ten extra minutes provide me with just ten more minutes of peace, of calm, of normalcy, like the ten minutes prior to a girl being told her lover has been killed.