If I Know That I Can't Have You

Try to fall asleep tonight, I lay awake and dream of life when we thought we could make it. We wasted all our time; but I wouldn't change a single thing I know. Two wrongs don't make it right; two hearts are on the line. Maybe we could have made it, had we waited and done this right. In the end I'm a friend, but that's all I am to you. We get closer and closer again, but we're falling apart. I'm losing, you're losing a friend. It's always over before we start. You're asking for love and I wish that it could be the way that it was. But it's over; there's no one to blame. It'll never be the same.

I Think I'm Losing My Mind

What is wrong with me.What is wrong with me.What is wrong with me.What is wrong with me.What is wrong with me.What is wrong with me.What is wrong with me.What is wrong with me.What is wrong with me.What is wrong with me.What is wrong with me.What is wrong with me.What is wrong with me.

I was looking forward to school today. Because I knew I would see you. I let myself look over to where you hang about. Approximately thirty times. After fourth period, I knew our paths would literally cross because of where our classes were. And then she took FOREVER to leave the classroom and I could see you walk by through the window and she's slowly writing her name down and I'm just screaming in my head, "CAN YOU HURRY UP, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD?!?" And I walked past you at lunch. And I smiled when I saw you laugh. And this can't be. This can't be. God damnit. I actually like you. Will he PLEASE text me so I can get over you and fast? What's wrong with me?

Fear Of Living

"You're not the only one whose life is imperfect. Relationships are a pain in the ass."

"You can't make someone love you."

"No. But you can stop trying to avoid getting hurt. Take a chance. Have you hold him exactly how you feel, what you want?"

"I think it's pretty obvious."

"You can't even say it to me."

"I love him."

"I'm willing to fight for you."

"I don't think my choice is so clear."

This Is A Cruel Joke

I'm feeling for him how I used to feel for you, how I shouldn't feel, how I never wanted to feel, how I never thought I would feel. And all he wants to do is forget. I guess I do, too. If anything came of this, I would push him away. I'd indulge him for a moment and then push him far, far away. Because that's what I do. And I miss you, A. I miss you so much. And I'll always love you. I can't help it. But the intensity is fading. Now I just love you because I have to, because the alternative is so impossible. And I'm sorry my love for you isn't unconditional anymore. But it is for him. But I'm so confused that I don't know what to do. I've been thinking of him and dreaming of him and missing him so much. They say that the person you fall asleep thinking about is the person you're in love with. And for five years, that was you. I'd relive memories and smile and cry and make up situations of reuniting. But now it's him. It's always him. And I don't know what to make of it. I've never been so undeniably lost. If I was given the choice before, I would've chosen to be with you in a heartbeat. No question about it. But now. If I was given the choice of him, I would say both yes and no, with equal enthusiasm. I'm so, so sorry. But if you can still save me, so that he can love her and I can go back to desperately wanting you, please, please, talk to me. Choose me like I would always have chosen you. Every time. Every single time.

But Thank You

Three years ago I was pleading for you to stay. But you didn't. If you did, however, I wouldn't have found that things eventually get better. Somedays I miss you and all the good talks we had. I still love you, but I guess I don't like you anymore. It happens. I'm sorry.

I Hope You Know I Care

Promise me you will not spend so much time treading water and trying to keep your head above the waves that you forget, truly forget, how much you have always loved to swim.

I was never really insane except upon occasions when my heart was touched.

Sometimes you just need to distance yourself from people. If they care, they'll notice. If they don't, you know where you stand.

You never really stop loving someone, you just learn to live without them.

But like a wave out of the ocean, I will always come right back to you.

What Am I Gonna Do With Forever Now?

You would always see the signs; the echos in my head they rhyme. I feel we never win at all, but tomorrow is another day. I don't know what I feel anymore; I've felt all these feelings before. I felt they never went home at all. Tomorrow is another day and I don't know what I'll be searching for.

So cold, I know you can't believe it. Sometimes you've got to face the feeling. You don't care if you don't get up again. There's a thousand things I will not understand. Now you're dealing with the hell I put you through. If I had my way, I would be right there next to you. There's certain things in life you cannot change. I hope you know I care. I've been alone too many nights, too proud to tell you when you're right. A little patience would have helped me then; a lot like the break has been the common standard. All the angels above the earth, I prayed and said this message right into her head. There's certain things in life I cannot take when I'm awake. I hope you know I care. Now you're dealing with the hell I put you through. If I had my way, I would be right there next to you. There's certain things in life you cannot change. I hope you know I care.