Give 'Em Hell, Kid

"Must I go bound while you go free? Must I love a man who doesn't love me? Must I be born with so little art as to love a man who'll break my heart?"

If you were here I'd never have a fear. So go on; live your life. But I miss you more that I did yesterday. You're so far away. So show me how because I mean this more than words can say. You're beautiful! Well, I'm a total wreck and almost every day, like the firing squad or the mess you made. Well, don't I look pretty walking down the street in the best damn dress I own? Some might say we are made from the sharpest things you say. We are young and we don't care. We never wanted it to be this way for all our lives. Do you care at all? I mean this more than words can ever say. What'd you call me? Well, there's no way I'm kissing that guy.

Every Since I Was A Child...

It's a bile that rises in my throat at the shortest notice. The smallest thing could disrupt my day, throw it out of the narrow course I had planned. And suddenly, I'm Mr. Hyde, on a rampage, furious. I'm ready to slit the throat of anyone who crosses me. Anyone. It's not anger. It's a fury, a tangible fury, that I can feel in the very pit of my stomach. Rising like stomach acid, ready to spew out at the first inconvenience. I've been good for a while so this feels strange. Today, it was the laundry, a bouncing ball, an open door, and a cigarette that set me off. But I breathed through it and kicked my drawer. It's also Mother's Day, so I need to relax. Relax. Breathe.

Over the love of you.

Time Isn't Healing

Like as the waves make towards the pebbled shore,

So do our minutes hasten to their end;

Each changing place with that which goes before,

In sequent toil all forwards do content.

Time doth transfix the flourish set on youth

And delves the parallels in beauty's brow,

Feeds on the rarities of nature's truth,

And nothing stands but for his scythe to mow:

And yet to times in hope my verse shall stand,

Praising thy worth, despite his cruel hand.

6/365

I see why she loves you, or likes you, or clings to you, or whatever. How could she not? You are one exceptional individual. My sister had a "best friend" that she met her junior year. My sister never was able to hold onto friends very long, for reasons undisclosed, but this girl finally seemed like she would accept my sister no matter what. Then they stopped talking after just a year over something stupid, and wouldn't talk again for another two years. After which they would hate each other again, and then finally become cordial. I met my best friend junior year and we have been best friends every since. We finally had a small fight over something stupid and we didn't talk for six days. After which I got a text saying, "I'm sorry I've been ignoring you. You mean the world to me..." And now we're back to being us. If I fight with someone, I'm so pissed I could go without talking to them for years. But him, six days. Six.

"I've been led on to think that we've been trying for too long. Every time we drift, we're forcing what is wrong. At last that voice is gone. Please take your time. But you've got to know that I am taking sides. Oh, you look good with your patient face and wandering eye. Don't hold this war inside. You left your home; you're so far from everything you know. Your big dream is crashing down and out your door; wake up and dream once more. Come back when you can. Let go, you'll understand. You've done nothing at all to make me love you less. So come back when you can. Come back, I'll help you stand. Let go and hold my hand. If all you wanted was me, then I'd give you nothing less. So come back when you can."

I Have Seen It In Your Eyes

"I wish you to know that you have been the last dream of my soul...Since I knew you, I have been troubled by a remorse that I thought would never reproach me again, and have heard whispers from old voices impelling me upward, that I thought were silent forever. I have had uniformed ideas of striving afresh, beginning anew, shaking off sloth and sensuality, and fighting out the abandoned fight. A dream, all a dream, that ends in nothing..."

I've Missed You♥

"I'm sorry I've been ignoring you. You mean the world to me so I shouldn't ever treat you like that...I don't care what she thinks. You're my best friend and it's not like she's gonna get in the way of that. She knows I'm not gonna choose between you because I care about you both..."

Solace

I'm very unusual. When I see my sister or other people get a text message from someone they like, or of something that they know will be particularly interesting, they open and read it right away, thinking of their reply as they do so. With fingers as rapid as lightning, the reply is written and sent without hesitation. I, on the other hand, do not open it for nearly ten minutes later. Is that cowardly? I throw my phone away from me and let it sit there. It draws my eyes like a car accident. As I browse through different things on my phone, I am so completely aware of the little red "1" that sits next to the message icon. Like it makes any difference at all. Eventually I'll have to read it, and when I do I'll have to face what it says. But those ten extra minutes provide me with just ten more minutes of peace, of calm, of normalcy, like the ten minutes prior to a girl being told her lover has been killed.