The feelings I once had for you still resonate in me. They aren't as strong, but they are still there. It's feels as if I've just sobbed my eyes out and my head still throbs and my throat is closed up. I've wiped off the smeared makeup and there are no signs of any tears, but I can feel it. I can't see it. But it's there. I don't know. I saw you and it wasn't like before, where my stomach would churn and my heart would ache and all of that fun stuff. You see, I'd already pushed those feelings so far away that, when you came back around to bring them back to the surface again, I couldn't find them. I'm still searching. I thought I liked someone new but maybe that was just my excuse to move on. I needed a firm reason to walk away. And I used the one I made up. I will always, always, always care for you. There's literally nothing you could do to change that. So don't bother trying. I just need to figure out if I ever want to stop loving you. Because I could, if I wanted to. I could move on, if I wanted to. I could find somebody new, if I wanted to. I'm just not sure if that I do.
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