Friday, August 24, 2012

It's Not Enough

I can love you from afar, but I don't think you are the same person when I am face to face with you. It's like walking on the shoreline and spotting what appears to be the most beautiful shell you've ever seen. When you finally can see it in full view, it's broken in half, it's dull, bland. Or sitting on the beach and gazing at the waves. They seem so beautiful and welcoming. And then you dive into the water and, when faced with the same waves, find yourself filled with terror. Surely this isn't the same sea I was just observing with calm serenity? Surely these aren't the same waters? But they are. And the waves crash upon you, unforgiving.
I am brittle. Well, parts of me are. You aren't exactly as innocent and good for me as I thought you were. You are horrible for me. You are a poison. My stomach churns, not in butterflies, but because my body is rejecting the venom that you are. But it's no use. I am addicted.

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