Hope Against Hope

I walked through the door with you; the air was cold but something about it felt like home somehow. And I left my scarf there at your sister's house and you still got it in your drawer, even now. Your sweet disposition and my wide-eyed gaze. We're singing in the car, getting lost upstate, autumn leaves falling down like pieces into place. And I can picture it after all these days. And I know it's long gone and the magic isn't here anymore and I might be okay, but I'm not fine at all. Because there we are again on that little town street, you almost ran the red because you were looking over me, wind in my hair. I was there, I remember it all too well. Photo album on the counter, your cheeks were turning red. You tell me about your past, thinking your future was me. And I know it's long gone and there's nothing else I could do. And I forget about you long enough to forget why I needed to. And maybe we got lost in translation; maybe I asked for too much. But maybe this thing was a masterpiece until you tore it up, running scared, I was there. I remember it all too well. And you call me up again just to break me like a promise, so casually cruel in the name of being honest. Time won't fly, it's like I'm paralyzed by it. I'd like to be my old self again, but I'm still trying to find it. But you keep my old scarf from that very first week, because it reminds you of innocence and it smells like me. You can't get rid of it because you remember it all too well. Because there we are again, when I loved you so, back before you lost the one real thing you've ever known.