It's strange how much of an effect people have on me. One word or action could completely change my mood and leave me feeling absolutely worthless. It's the worst feeling in the world to feel like you're going to burst into tears or like you're just so damn sad and you can't quite say why.
"I'm just feeling sad."
And when you can't see the screen because your vision is blurring. Or when someone asks you a question or talks to you and you feel like responding will break the dam. So you answer with one word and you struggle so hard to keep from crumbling. And you pray no one will see though your facade, but you're begging someone to notice. It's confusing and it's painful. I can't even understand the feeling. But it's more than confusion, as you wonder why you can't even force a smile anymore. More than pain, as a word leaves you breathless as if you've been punched. More than depression, as you cry out, begging someone to notice. And nobody does.
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