I feel very sad again. It comes in waves and is especially strong right now. I feel a deep pain in the pit of my stomach. Sadness. Grieving. Self-pity. I feel worthless and not nearly good enough. I feel fat and I won't stop eating. I feel bored with my life but I don't want it to change. I can't figure myself out and I'm so tired. Not in the sense where I need to sleep. I slept yesterday from 3 PM until about 6 PM, and slept again from 1 AM until 11 AM. I'm well rested. But I'm exhausted. By breathing. By simply expanding and contracting my lungs I feel myself getting weary. Maybe I'm depressed. Again. But everyone and everything is annoying me, including myself. My head hurts and so does everything else. It's such a pain, this living thing. And to think, I have about 70 more years to go. That sucks. That really sucks.
I can't see myself past 18.
No comments:
Post a Comment