I don't love you anymore. Why don't I love you anymore? You logged on today and I...I didn't feel anything. It doesn't hurt anymore that you don't love me. It's funny. It pains me that I don't love you. Make sense of that, I beg you. I don't get it. I've spent four and a half years wanting nothing and no one but you. And now I just...don't. It's not that I've replaced you. I don't feel for anyone right now. I'm trying to, but I just don't. I guess it's because I'm leaving. I would thank my subconscious for doing this for me if it didn't terrify me. Loving you is all I know. Waiting for you to talk to me, hesitantly pressing send on a one word text, holding your hand, teeth bumps, Transformers and The Collector and some other movie, the Haunted Mansion at Disneyland, your jacket, a football game, a smile, a captured glance. Those are the things I cherished and remembered for years. And now they're little more than nothing to me. It's very confusing. And I thought I would be relieved, but it bothers me. I'm sorry, I guess. I'm sorry that it took me four years to get over you. I'm sorry that, if you ever wanted me to speak my mind, I didn't. I'm sorry that this is all we were ever supposed to be but, after those two years of strong affection and such loving words on your part, who could've guessed? Who knew?
"If someone said three years from now you'd be long gone, I'd stand up and punch them out cause they're all wrong. I know better cause you said forever and ever. Who knew?"
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