Is This What I Want?

Took a deep breath in the mirror; he didn't like it when I wore high heels, but I do. Turned the lock and put my headphones on; he always said he didn't get this song, but I do. Walked in expecting you'd be late, but you got here early and you stand and wait. And I walk to you; you pulled my chair and helped me in and you don't know how nice that is, but I do. You said you never met one girl who has as many James Taylor records as you, but I do. We tell stories and you don't know why I'm coming off a little shy, but I do. And we walk down the block to my car and I almost brought him up, but you start to talk. And I won't talk about that. For the first time, what's passed is past. Because you throw your head back laughing like a little kid. I think it's strange that you think I'm funny because he never did. I've been spending the last 8 months thinking all love ever does is break and burn and end. But on a Wednesday in a cafe, I watched it begin again.

I can't entirely relate, because he called me beautiful but so did you. He was kind, but so were you. He seemed interested, but so did you. The difference is that I could read him like a book. It was clear he was thinking about me. He let it be known. He didn't hide. I wasn't hesitant to text him. But when I think about talking to you, I second guess myself. Why do you make this so difficult? I don't want it to begin again with him. I want it with you. But I will not wait forever. Is he better? Could I actually be happier with him? I have no fucking idea.