I'm not saying I've changed my mind. That's impossible. But I keep thinking about what he said about you, and that definitely seems possible. He could've been lying, but when I say that I feel like I'm just making excuses. I miss you like crazy and I like who you were but I have no idea if I'm wasting my time. That's not true. I have an idea that I might be. People tell me I am. But more people tell me that I'm not. But who the fuck cares what they say? What do I think? I think it's possible that waiting for him is useless and embarrassing and pathetic. And then I think maybe I should let go. But then I realize I really don't fucking want to, so instead I'll just hold onto that tiny bit of hope that when I'm lying awake before bed and thinking of all that we could be, you are too. That when I see you're online my heart skips and I stare at your name, practically bidding you to message me, you're doing the same. That when I'm walking to class and my mind inevitably drifts towards your name, that you do the same. And that when the smallest things remind me of you, that things just as unimportant remind you of me. Because it's not only easier, it's also what feels right. It feels best to let myself care for you. Trying to let go of you is, first of all, really fucking hard, but also impossible. But I just wish I knew. Knew how you feel. Knew everything. That's all I'm saying.
"Boy, if you're wondering if I want you too, I want you too. So make a move. Because I don't have all night.
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