To See You Again

"Maybe there's something you're afraid to say or someone you're afraid to love, but say it and love them. It's gonna hurt. It's gonna hurt because it matters."

I felt as if nothing had changed. But of course it had. Things have totally turned around in entirely different directions, for all of us. Just four years ago we were four kids on our way to high school. But we didn't think about that. We were all stuck in the same little school with the same people we hated. All three of you were always together. And when you and I found our way together, you never let anyone else interrupt.

But now. So different. Of course I would feel the same. Because you were quiet and I was quiet and he was a jerk and she was pushing me to go and it was all so familiar. But now I'm looking at colleges far away. He's looking at West Point, but hoping football can get him somewhere. He's delusional in thinking he can get himself to USC. And you're unsure. But either way, we won't find ourselves ten minutes from each other for much longer. If ten minutes felt like a thousand miles, imagine how it will feel when I actually am that far away. I missed you more than I even knew. Driving to your house again made my stomach explode. Hugging you felt comfortable. But different. You're much taller. Your arms are stronger. It felt like no time at all had passed. But time has passed and that's the problem. Three years. Three whole years we let slide by. And still I look at you like it was only five minutes ago that we walked up your street, that we kissed at a football game, that our teeth knocked on a Disneyland ride. We're such different people now, and yet we were exactly the same. I didn't want to tell them how I felt looking at you because it's none of their business. Especially not his. Who took the first chance he got to make my stomach ache. I know we tease each other, but I don't go out of my way to make him hurt. Oh, well. That's life.

"I don't know why I did the things I did. I don't know why I said the things I said. Pride's like a knife; it can cut deep inside. Words are like weapons; they wound sometimes. My world was shattered; I was torn apart, like someone took a knife and drove it deep in my heart. You walked out that door, I swore that I didn't care. But I lost everything, darling, then and there. Too strong to tell you I was sorry. Too proud to tell you I was wrong. I know that I was blind. If I could turn back time, if I could find a way, I'd take back those words that hurt you and you'd stay. I'd give it all to you, then you'd love me like you used to."

"Hello, image. Sing me a line from your favorite song. Twist and turn, but you're trapped in the light; all the directions were wrong. You'll fall in love with somebody else tonight. Help yourself, but tell me the words before you fade away. You reveal all the secrets to remember the end and escape someday. You'll fall in love with somebody else again tonight. Take a step; you move in time, but it's always back. The reasons are clear, your face is drawn and ready for the next attack."